By Myself
by Jeanne
Summary: Harry does some thinking after he gets home from the Dursleys.... I got depressed while writing this so, if you don't want to be depressed, this fic is not for you. Please R/R!
1. Default Chapter

A/n- I got to warn everyone, this is some serious Harry angst. It's also from Harry's point of view, and it his thoughts. As if you brilliant people couldn't figure that one out by yourself. :-) Well, go on! Read, please!

Why? Why me? Why my parents? Why Cedric? I'm fifteen years old, but I feel more like five hundred. A fifteen year old boy shouldn't be worrying about the fact that he's putting everyone he cares about in danger just by associating with they. A fifteen year old boy shouldn't be worried about the things that have been thrust upon me. 

__

What do I do to ignore them behind me?

Do I follow my instincts blindly?

Do I hide my pride/ From these bad dreams

And give into thought that are maddening?

Dreams. There's another "why". Why am I plagued by these dreams, every night? The images of Cedric and my parents are haunting me. Every night, I relive that awful experience. It's all HIS fault. What did I do to deserve this? And more importantly, what can I do about it?

__

Do I/ Sit here and try to stand it?

Or do I/ Try to catch them - ed?

Dumbeldore tells me I'm safe here. Yeah, right. I'm really safe, with people who'd gladly hand me over to Voldermort or the Death Eaters if they showed up on the front step. I'm hopeless. I can't do anything about a problem that I caused. I just have to sit here, because I'm Harry Potter. Why do I need to be protected? I've never done anything, I just got lucky. My parents died for me. What did I do to deserve that? It's all my fault. I can't do this anymore. 

Because I can't hold on/ When I'm stretched so thin

I make the right moves but I'm lost within

Fact. People are dead or are going to die. Fact. It's my fault. Fact. I can't do a damn thing about it. Fact. I can't do this anymore.

__

I put on my daily facade but then

I just end up getting hurt again 

By myself [Myself]

Why does everyone expect me to be able to do anything about this? I'm just a short, skinny, fifteen year old boy. Who just happens to be expected to stop the most evil wizard who ever lived from taking over the world. Even Ron and Hermione, my best friends, have me up on this pedastal. Well, take me off it.

__

I ask why, but in my mind

I find I can't rely on myself

What if I fail? Then what happens? I don't stand a chance of living through this. For whatever reason, I'm number one of Voldermorts Most Wanted List. 

__

I can't hold on 

[To what I want when I'm stretched so thin}

It's all too much to take in

Every night, I relive the third task. He took blood from me. Wormtail, that , that traitor. He was my parents best friend. I should blame him. But I can't. I blame myself. It's my fault, no matter what anyone else thinks. I'm the reason that the Diggorys' are mourning the death of their only son. Who else will feel that pain, because of me?

__

I can't hold on

[To anything watching everything spin]

With thoughts of failure sinking in 

What if I can't live up to everyone's expectations? I want to be doing something, not just sitting here on my behind. 

__

If I/ turn my back I'm defenseless

And to go blindly seems senseless

How can I deal with this? Simple answer: I can't. But I have to. The Death Eaters all know who I am, and I know who many of them are. But, of course, they won't go to jail. No one who has that power believes what I say. All right, so everyone expects me to save them, but they don't believe what I say. 

__

If I hide my pride and let it all go on/ Then they'll

Take from me 'till everything is gone

If I let them go I'll be outdone

But If I try to catch them I'll be outrun

But I don't care about all of that. What I care about is Why. Why did Voldermort want my parents so much? Why did he try to get my mom to stand aside? Why did the curse deflect, destroying Voldermort, leaving me orphaned and with a scar on my head? Why did Peter go to the Dark Side? If he hadn't, maybe the inevitable would have just been delayed. But what if someone else defeated Voldermort? They I'd still have my family.

If I'm killed by the questions like a cancer 

They I'll be buried in the silence of the answer

[By myself]

He killed my parents. He killed my dad, James Potter, whom everyone says I look just like; who was friends with Sirius Black and Remus Lupin; who was co author of the Marauders Map; who was an animagi; and who loved and died for me. He killed my mom, Lily Potter, who I get my eyes from; who was good at charms; who had red hair; and who loved and died for me. And that just about sums up what I know about my parents.

How do you think/ I've lost so much

I'm so afraid/ I'm out of touch

Every year, a bit more of the puzzle is put together. What will I learn this year? Will I finally learn why Voldermort was only after my dad and I, and not my mom?

How do you expect/ I will know what to do

When all I know/ Is what you tell me to

I'm not normal. I'm Harry Potter, hero of the Wizarding world. I'm Harry Potter, orphaned by Dark Magic. I'm Harry Potter, directly or indirectly, it doesn't really matter, the cause of Cedric Diggory's death. I'm the direct cause of the Dark Lord's return.

__

Don't you know

I can't tell you how to make it go

No matter what I do, How hard I try

I can't seem to convince myself why

I'm stuck on the outside.

Just let me live a normal life. That's all I want. I want my mom and dad back, I want brothers and sisters. Ron has no idea how lucky he is. I want to go to Hogwarts with my two best friends, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger. I want to play on the Quiddich team and win the Cup. I want to pass the days not worrying waking up to wonder if this sunrise is my last, and I don't want to go to bed wondering if this sunset is my last. I want to go into the Leaky Cauldron and Diagon Alley and not have everyone gawking at my scar and whispering about me when I pass by. 

__

I can't hold on 

[To what I want when I'm stretched so thin}

It's all too much to take in

I want everyone to take me off of that pedestal they have me on. 

__

I can't hold on

[To anything watching everything spin]

With thoughts of failure sinking in 

A/n- Okay, now it's time for you to do your duty as reviewers! Review! My songfics don't get nearly as many reviews as my chaptered stories. (But you can go read them (well, it, really) If you want to! *hinthint*)

Luv ya loads!

-Jeanne


	2. Transitivity

Transitivity

The first thing that seems to catch the attention of most people in the morning is the impression of sunlight through their closed eyes. If not waked from some other source, people will tend to linger for some time in that semiconscious state, not totally awake, and yet not totally asleep. Gradually, the sun will become brighter and brighter, and the balance of semiconsciousness will begin to shift towards the persons awakening. That morning, Ronald Weasley was no different. 

Ron rolled over and looked through sleepy eyes at the slumbering form of his wife. He grinned. The figure asleep next to him was his wife. _His wife - _He still could not get over the emotions that welled up inside of him when he thought of Hermione in that role. His wife - who had sworn to love him for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as they both should live. And he in turn had sworn the same to her. They had exchanged the symbolic rings, and at that moment, they ceased being separate individuals - they had joined as one, pledging their eternal love and devotion to each other, for all of eternity.

Early morning sun shone through the windows and lit up the bedroom. Ron's grin stretched as he remembered the days, weeks, and months gone by that had led up to this moment. Everything had been so perfect in the three months since their wedding day; not even Voldemort could manage to completely ruin it. Ron scowled briefly as he remembered what he had been forced to do the night before returned to him in full force. He pushed those thoughts away and concentrated on his wife. The best part about it all was that Hermione knew everything, and still, despite his double life, she loved and accepted him. In Ron's opinion, he was the luckiest man alive.

*****

It was beautiful outside, the sun seemingly mocking the troubled and war weary earth with it's bright and cheerful light. Under the watchful gaze of the sun, two people were walking. These were two of the most affected of the war that plagued the beautiful English countryside, and yet, they seemed to be unaware of the destruction and devastation that was being wrought upon their country. They were only aware of each other. Some would say it sickening, others beautiful. Some would say they were robbing each other from the cradle, others, that circumstances had made them old beyond their years. But what the 'others' thought, these two had not a care in the world. They only cared for each other.

Hermione sighed, and tightened her grip on Ron's hand. She brought her other hand up to her eyes, shading them so that she could look up into the face of her boyfriend without being blinded by the brilliant sun. Hermione loved seeing Ron like this, seemingly carefree and without worries. The war was weighing down and taking a toll on everybody, but it seemed like Ron had assumed a far greater burden than anyone else. After a moment, Ron felt Hermione's gaze, and looked down into her eyes.

"Hey there, handsome," Hermione said. "So nice of you to join me back here on planet earth. Where've you been?"

"What are you talking about? I haven't left Earth, only Muggles are crazy enough to want to go and walk around on the moon. You've got beautiful eyes, have I ever told you that?" He smiled down at her, believing he had successfully avoided her original question.

He was disappointed, however, to find a frown on his girlfriends face. "Yes, you have told me that, many times! Stop avoiding my questions! You know what I'm talking about, I know you do." Hermione stopped, considering what to say next. She decided to drop the matter for a moment. "Come on, see that big tree?" She indicated a large oak tree about twenty five feet ahead of them. "Let's take a rest in the shade."

They covered the distance in a short time, and sat down together in the comforting shade offered by the old tree. They ceased talking, each preferring to revel in the comforting silence that wove around them like a cloak. Hermione snuggled into Ron and looked out over the landscape. Ron looked down and smiled into Hermione's brown hair. His hand traveled down into a pocket of his cloak. He felt around for a moment until his hand came to wrap securely around a small velvet box. He stopped for a moment, remembering how he had come into possession of what lay in the small box.

_"Charlie, please. I'm not asking you a lot. I never ask you for anything, but this is an emergency."_

"Just tell me why you can't go down to Diagon Alley and buy it yourself?"

Ron swore under his breath. "Damn it, Charlie! You know why! I'm an Auror AND an Unspeakable! I have knowledge of certain things that could crush the Light side, possibly beyond repair, if it ever got into the hands of the Death Eaters! That makes me marked man, marked by the Dark side, probably even up to Voldemort himself!" He smiled inwardly as he said this. Ron's role as a double agent, still unknown to all but a very select few, made it necessary for Ron to continually come out with cover ups such as this. Some of it was true - he did have knowledge of things that could be very helpful to the Dark side, but not necessarily as important as he made it out to be. _"They've got spies everywhere, and not even the upper level Unspeakables know the identity of them all! If the Death Eaters got wind that I'm going to propose to Hermione, then I'd be putting her in more, and for that matter, unnecessary, danger than she already is in now! Please, Charlie. You've got to help me."_

Charlie looked down into the face of his youngest brother. He sighed, then broke into a smile. "So, ickle Ronnikins is going to be a husband? Won't mom be ever so proud?"

"That's another thing, Charlie. Don't tell anyone, not even Bill or Cara. I mean it - you can't. I'll tell everyone as soon as possible, preferably after I propose. Got it?"

"Anything for you, little brother."

Ron sighed inwardly. It wasn't fair that he had to go to such pains to cover up his movements from his family. The double life was beginning to have an effect on him - the stress of covering his movements from everybody, the anxiety that came from waiting for the Mark to burn, wishing that it wouldn't for fear of torture or even death, but hoping that it would, knowing that vital information lay just within his grasp. It was getting harder to hide it from everybody, Hermione especially. _I believe a changing of the protocol will be necessary, because I'm sure as hell not going to be able to hide this from her if she says yes to marrying me!_

Ron pushed all the lingering doubts in his mind, and gathered up all of his Gryffindor courage. 

"Hermione?"

Hermione shifted so she was looking up at Ron. "Yes, dear?"

"I've been thinking," Ron began.

Hermione smiled. "About what?"

"About us. Hermione, we've been together for so long. I've never loved anyone like I love you. I look at you and can't help feeling like I don't deserve being blessed like this. I'd be content to leave everything as is - but our world is falling to pieces around us, a little more every day. The Ministry is in disarray - might as well not be there at all - and the only thing stopping the Dark forces is the Order of the Phoenix and the Unspeakable Aurors. I don't want to go on living like this. I try, but I can't find a silver lining or the light at the end of the tunnel. You're the only one that I can fall back on, even if I can't tell you everything that I want to." He paused, not sure how to continue.

"I know that, Ron. Why are you telling me this?"

Ron reached down into his pocket. "It's just this, Hermione. If this war has taught me anything, it's that you have to make things happen, they just won't happen for you." He withdrew the small box and opened it in front of her face. "Hermione Granger, will you marry me?"

*****

"I mean no disrespect, Professor, but what exactly are we doing?" Hermione said, quickening her stride to keep up with the surprisingly fast pace the elderly Headmaster was setting.

"All in good time, my dear girl." He motioned for Ron to walk next to him, and the rest of the journey to the Headmasters office was, for Hermione, Ginny, and Harry, spend in relative silence, while the Headmaster and the spy conferred together. Their tones were hushed and hurried, a fact that did not go unnoticed by the other three. 

Hermione leaned over to whisper in Harry's ear. "I have a bad feeling about this."

Ginny overheard Hermione's whispered comment and returned with one of her own. "How do you think we feel?" she indicated Harry and herself. "I swear, if Dumbledore doesn't reveal the identity of this man, he'd better have some damn good evidence to back up what he says. He may have been right about important things before, but I'm not willing to risk the life of my child on this."

Harry squeezed his wife's hand. "It'll be all right, Ginny, I promise." Hermione looked away, not wanting to deny her friends a snatched moment of intimacy. It was hard enough to get time alone with Ron, she wasn't going to deny others the same things she herself so longed for. Further conversation was cut short as the group reached the stone gargoyle that guarded the Headmaster's office. Dumbledore spoke the password (_Phoenix tears_) and they made their way into the circular office.

Dumbledore's phoenix, Fawkes, was sleeping when the group entered the room, however he woke up after Harry had shut the door behind him. He examined each person in the room, sang one long note, then went back to sleep again. Dumbledore smiled and sat down behind his desk.

"Please, take a seat," he said to Harry, Hermione, and Ginny. Ginny sat in an armchair in front of the desk, and Harry perched on the arm. Hermione remained standing, as did Ron.

There was distinctly uncomfortable silence in the room for a few beats. No one knew quite what to say, and they all looked instinctively to Dumbledore. He sighed and began to speak.

"I know that I told you three that you were not to be permitted to know the identities of our spies in the Death Eater ranks. However, recent events have forced me to reconsider this regulation of mine. I know you all very well, and I am quite aware that Mrs. Potter is loath to believe the statements of Cicero until there is definite proof besides his word. Therefore, if Cicero agrees to this, I am prepared to allow you to know his identity. I believe it is the only way that Mrs. Potter will agree to believe his word."

Ron stiffened visibly. "Professor, you can't be serious."

"I am quite serious, Cicero. I never say something that I do not mean, unless I want it to get back to Voldemort for some reason. I assure you that this is not the case here."

"But sir, you don't understand! I _can't_! I resigned myself to the fact that no one would ever know my identity or my role in this war a long time ago. I won't be able to handle their reactions, I know I won't."

Harry got up. "Why can't you tell us? What could possibly be holding you back? Who _are_ you?"

Ron ignored Harry's question. He turned to his sister. "Mrs. Potter, is there any other way, anything I can do to convince you of the reality of my knowledge without revealing my identity to you?" There was a not of pleading in his voice that Ginny picked up on, and was confused by. However, she stayed by her earlier statement.

"No," She answered slowly. "No, I don't believe there is."

Ron swore profusely under his breath. He looked up and Dumbledore, and the tension that he radiated was palpable. He looked away and swore again. Hermione, Harry, and Ginny watched as their (unrealized) brother and friend paced back and forth through the room. Finally he stopped and faced them. "I'm sorry, Professor. You know my reasons, and you must respect them. I'm sorry," he said, turning to Harry and Ginny. "I just can't. Maybe someday, after the war. But at this moment in time, it's simply impossible. If you have any shred of sense, you will take the proper precautions. If not, then there is nothing else I can do for you. I have done all that I can."

Dumbledore looked for a moment at Ron. "Very well then, Cicero. I shall not go back on my word - your reasons shall be respected." He addressed Harry and Ginny. "Mr. and Mrs. Potter, I shall be in contact with you in a day or so. Until then, lie low. Ms. Granger, if you would stay behind?" 

Harry and Ginny got up and left the office, talking quietly to each other. Hermione sat down in the chair vacated by Ginny and looked at Dumbledore expectantly. "Ms. Granger," Dumbledore said. "Circio has expressed his desires that his identity should be revealed to you. His reasons are his own, to share with you as he will. I shall leave you in peace." He got up and left the office, leaving Ron and Hermione alone.

***

Ron glared at his reflection in the mirror. Even though he hadn't eaten anything since the night before, his stomach felt as though it had Chocolate Frogs inside doing the Can-Can. He ran his hands through his hands and adjusted his tie. _I do believe I'm about to be sick,_ Ron thought. He turned around as the door to the dressing room opened, revealing his best friend and two of his brothers. 

Harry walked over, a grin on his face. "Ready, Ron?" 

Ron paled. "Yeah, right. What the hell was I thinking? We're not ready for this! For Merlin's sake, we're 19 years old, what if I made a mistake asking her, what if..."

Fred cut his brother off. "Come off of it, Ron. I've never seen two people more in love than the two of you, my wife and I excluded, of course. It doesn't matter if for all intents and purposes you're robbing the cradle," he discontinued and ducked a swipe from his aforementioned younger brother. He moved to put Harry between himself and Ron.

"What Fred is trying to say," Charlie cut in, a grin on his face, "Is that you're ready, Ron. You're ready for her and she's ready for you, and," He said, checking his watch, "if you don't haul ass, you're going to be late." 

"That's right, men," Angelina Johnson-Weasley said, coming into the room. "You have fifteen minutes to get your sorry behinds down to that church, and if you're late, not only will Hermione kill you, but Molly will have all of your heads. Bill and George are already there, Ginny is with Hermione, who, by the way, is just as nervous as the groom is."

"I'm not nervous!" Ron protested.

"Of course not. Just like Fred wasn't when he got married," Charlie said laughing.

"It was a show, that," Harry said. "I'd pay money to see it again."

"Come on! Unless you _want _to be late," Angelina interrupted. 

"Yes, darling, coming," Fred said. "Whatever you say."

"Shove it, dear."

*

"Hermione, you are a goddess." Ginny said. "You truly are a goddess. If I look half as beautiful as you when I get married, I will able to die a happy death."

Hermione smirked. "So when are you and Harry going to set a date?" Ginny and Harry had been officially together for two years. Ginny grimaced. "When he gets up the nerve. He may be a Gryffindor, but he's a coward at heart." 

"Ginny is quite right, dear," Molly said, smoothing the back of Hermione's dress. "You look radiant."

Hermione blushed as she examined her reflection in a full length mirror. She was wearing an off the shoulder three quarter length arms dress that was fitted snuggly to the waist, then billowed out in many layers the skirt. She wore a tiara (Ron had insisted, saying his princess should be recognized for the one she was, especially on their wedding day) set with Austrian crystals, and the veil hung to her waist. Her hair had been magnificently done thanks to a combined effort of Angelina, Katie, and Ginny - it was swept up in nearly the same manner as she had worn it to the Yule Ball in fourth year, but much fancier and (in Hermione's opinion) much more flattering.

Hermione sighed. "I am _so _nervous."

Molly smiled. "I remember it well, dear. My stomach would not settle until I was walking down the aisle with my father, and saw Arthur. As soon as I saw him, I knew everything would be okay, as long as we were together. Whatever fate chose to throw at us, we would face it as one. You and Ron will do the same, I'm sure. Just make sure you're happy, that's all that matters."

"I felt the same way," Angelina said. "Oh dear," she exclaimed, looking at the clock. "If Ron's anything like Fred was, I'd better go and make sure he'll be there on time!"

"The same thing happened with Dave and I," Mary Granger said as she entered the bride's dressing room. Her eyes filled with tears as she looked at her daughter. "Oh, Hermione."

"Mom, don't!" Hermione exclaimed. "I'm going to start crying!"

"It's all right," Ginny said. "I put a spell on the makeup, it won't smudge or run."

Hermione went over to her mother and the two embraced. "You are so beautiful," Mary said. "I hope Ron realizes how lucky he is to have you."

"Indeed," Molly said. "I brought that boy up right. I am so happy to welcome you to our family, darling. Ron chose good."

At this, Hermione finally broke down. She composed herself as George and Katie Bell-soon-to-be-when-George-finally-decides-to-propose-properly-Weasley opened the door to the dressing room. "Time to get a move on, ladies," George said. "Mr. Granger is waiting at the back of the church, and Ron and everyone else just got in position up front. Time to have a wedding!"

*

Hermione entered the back of the church with Ginny, Katie, and George. Angelina, Bill, Fred, and Charlie joined them moments later. She had asked Ginny to be her Maid of Honor, and Katie, Angelina, Cara (her cousin) and Jessie (Charlie's wife) to be her bridesmaids. For the benefit of Hermione's Muggle relatives, the ceremony itself was going to be a Muggle ceremony (All of Ron's relatives had agreed to refrain from using magic, some more reluctantly than others.) and the reception was going to be a Wizarding reception, with Confusing spells to be put upon the Muggles to keep them from noticing anything "out of the ordinary."

"Hi, Daddy," Hermione whispered when her father noticed her enter. 

"Hello, baby girl," he said as he embraced his only daughter. "Goodness, you are so beautiful." He smiled as Hermione blushed. "I'm so proud of you, you do know that." It was a statement, not a question.

"Yeah," Hermione said, not trusting herself to say anything further. She pulled away from the embrace and wiped her eyes. "I guess it's time to go."

****

Hermione ran. She didn't know where she was running to, or how she had gotten to where she was. All she knew was the ground pounding beneath her feet, the tears coursing down her cheeks, and the belly, protruding from beneath her robes. She ran - from her family, from her friends, from her world. 

Finally, after what seemed like forever, Hermione became aware of the rain. It wasn't a pouring rain, but falling enough to have soaked her hair through and wet her robes. She looked around, trying to orient herself. Her eyes fell upon a large tree, about twenty five feet ahead of her. She gasped - it was _their_ tree. Not knowing what else to do, and wanting to get out of the rain, she sought shelter under the tree. She sought shelter not only from the weather, but from her memories and emotions.

*

__

Hermione didn't know what to do after Dumbledore left. She was uncomfortable being alone in the presence of a man she (assumed) she didn't know. "I'm afraid I don't quite understand," She said.

The spy sighed and raised his wand. After removing the spells that shrouded his figure, he removed his cloak. His blue eyes pierced Hermione's own brown ones. "Please, Hermione," Ron said. "Don't jump to conclusions, I need to explain."

Hermione, once getting over her initial shock, was outraged. "Indeed you do! What is this, Ron Weasley? Don't tell me that you're the spy!"

"Have I had a chance to change places with anyone? Hermione, please. Listen to me. I can explain."

It took about two hours, but finally there were no secrets left between the newly engaged couple. There were many tears shed, many shouts exchanged, but they were over it and stronger together for it. 

*

Hermione glanced around with a smile. The amount of activity at the Burrow was unimaginable. Even with seven grown children, their respective wives/girlfriends/husband, Bill's oldest child (two years old) and Hermione six months along with her first child, the atmosphere still managed to throw her back to her school days. Hermione sighed, remembering. It was all so much easier then. How naive we all were. 

_Charlie and his fiancee, Cara, walked over. "Hey, Hermione!" He said, giving her a hug. _

Hermione smiled. "Hello Charlie, Cara. It's so good to see you! I can't wait for the wedding. It's this spring, right?"

"That's right. How are you coming along? You're getting quite big," Cara said.

"Don't remind me!" Hermione laughed. "I'm coming along quite nicely, thank you. I'm due in March, and I can't wait."

"Where's my favorite youngest brother, eh, Hermione?" Fred said, coming up behind Charlie and Cara.

Hermione's smile faltered, but she recovered herself quickly. "Oh, he was called into work a little while ago. Nothing serious, he should be here in an hour or so."

"Well, that's good," Fred said. "Now, you lot, I was sent by our dearest mother to call you all to the table. Ron or no Ron, we still have to eat!"

Hermione put her hand on her protruding stomach. Please, _she prayed. _Let Ron come back to me safe tonight. _Hermione knew exactly where Ron was at that moment - he had not been summoned to work, as she had told Fred, but to Voldemort. Even after nearly nine months, Hermione still couldn't get over her fear that Ron wouldn't return to her after one of these meetings. Her fear, tonight, was not totally unfounded._

The family had just sat down to dinner. It was a loud affair, typical of an evening at the Burrow. Bill, Fleur, and their two year old daughter Amelia; Charlie and Cara; Fred and Angelina; George and Katie; Penelope, who still visited the Weasleys even though Percy was gone; Hermione; and finally, Ginny and Harry were all visiting the Burrow that night on Molly's request. For about twenty minutes, everyone sat, talking, laughing, and of course, eating. Hermione joined in the conversation, abet halfheartedly. She kept glancing towards the kitchen, waiting for Ron to appear so she could give him a hug and kiss, and tell him how much she loved him. I don't know how much longer I'm going to be able to handle this_ she thought. _Please, return him to me safe tonight.

_Alas, it was not to be. Instead of Ron appearing in the kitchen, a squad of five Aurors appeared at the kitchen door. Molly got up to see what was wrong, and let them in the house. What had seconds before been a happy, even jovial, atmosphere, was suddenly filled with apprehension and tension. Even Amelia sensed the need to be quiet._

The senior Auror stepped forward. "Is there a Mrs. Hermione Weasley here?"

Hermione's gut tightened. "Yes, that's me. What is the matter? Is Ron all right?"

The Auror looked stern. "That depends, Mrs. Weasley. Your husband was caught in the company of known Death Eaters coming away from the scene of a Muggle killing."

Hermione sat, curled under the tree, sobbing for what seemed like eternity. All that she and Ron had worked for, all that they had hoped for, was gone. Ron was imprisoned by the very side that he was working for, and only she, Dumbledore, and Ron's two Ministry contacts knew the truth. Hermione put her hand on her stomach and sobbed even harder. "Oh, Ron," she cried. "I can't handle this. Everyone thinks you're a traitor, and they'll all suspect me of wrongdoing - guilty by association! The Auror said that I was clear of all charges, but until this blasted war is over, I'm going to have to go on without a husband, and our child will have to grow up believing its father is a traitor! Damn this war! I hate it, it's taken everything from me..... when will it stop? Oh God, when will it stop?"

****

****

A/N- Yes, I realize that it's short. I apologize for the lack of length. I also apologize for the chapter as a whole - major kudos if you actually got down this far. I hope to have the next chapter up within a month, but that may or may not end up being possible due to personal matters. So, hope you enjoyed, as always major thanks to those who have reviewed. Tell me what you think!

-Jeanne


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